Getting Uncomfortable
Choosing discomfort is never the easiest route, but the path forward often starts with getting uncomfortable.
On my Mind This Week
Since writing my post on The Weight of Too Much, our family has begun the process of unloading our burden and here is the honest truth. The stress I have internalized over the past 10 days is not only heavy, but uncomfortable. We have signed a contract to buy a house, half the size of our current house and 3 miles down the road, in town. We have put our own house on the market after the laborious and uncomfortable process of staging it for sale. I mean where are the tissues?! We have signed a contract to sell our house after a few sleepless nights of back and forth negotiations over closing dates. We have started the process of getting estimates to make some minor improvements on the new house, because while we want to avoid Too Much, there are still aspects of home life that we prioritize and want to enjoy going forward. This didn’t exactly happen overnight as we’ve been considering making this move for about 6 months, but it’s incredible how fast everything moves when you actually pull the trigger.
While the events of past 10 days are intrinsically stressful, the discomfort is tougher to isolate. The idea of ‘giving up’ space, stuff, neighbors, routine, and the comfort of the known, creates a fire that blazes through the entirety of my nervous system before I can grasp which aspect of the discomfort is causing my brain to scramble and my fingers to tremble. In a world where we are continuously being told that high stress and high cortisol is the cause of all our middle aged problems, it feels hard to justify choosing this level of discomfort and stress. But real life has taught me that getting uncomfortable is the first step towards reducing the chronic stress that develops from getting stuck in life’s rusting gears.
Rebecca Blackwell just wrote a piece for the Mastermind for Food Writers Substack titled, Everything Has a Shelf Life, Even Your Business. I’m in complete agreement with her opinion that relationships, businesses, and most everything has a shelf life and that adaptation, of one kind or another, is required or the relationship ends. My husband and I may take slightly drastic measures when it comes to adaptation and I would not recommend that every 22 year old marriage include 7 moves, 2 years of expat life, 5 homes bought, and 4 homes sold. It takes a certain type to accept that extent of discomfort and upheaval. I would suggest that every relationship get comfortable being uncomfortable with the goal of adaptation versus complacency towards the niggling feeling that the day to day is no longer working in your favor.
I look forward to sharing the discomfort, the arguments, the progress and the transition back into comfort that I expect will accompany the year ahead of us.
Holistic Wellness
Holistic wellness encompasses every aspect of life that affects our daily health and the pursuit of optimal longevity. Mental, physical, and environmental factors contribute to how we feel, how we see the world around us, and how we move into the future. I’m a firm believer that a life of moderation is key to overall wellness and that no idea, single path, or diet is meant to consume us. Be open to trying new things, varying your routine, and listening to what others have to share, even if you’re not sure you agree.
Lifestyle
If you have a tendency to avoid discomfort, well because it’s easier, I don’t blame you. But I do think testing out the waters of discomfort may bring some unexpected rewards. Here are a few tips to get you started.
I find that having the hard conversation is usually the best way to work your way into accepting discomfort. Whether it be your spouse, your partner, your children, or your friend, putting uncomfortable thoughts into words alleviates internal stress. Not necessarily initially, but over time for sure.
Saying yes to that thing you want to say no to can be a good thing. While it’s important to learn to say no to things you no longer want to be a part of or will overload your plate, saying yes to things that are slightly out of your comfort zone may be just what you need.
Change a part of your routine that has become stale. Habits die hard, but some habits need to broken.
Evaluate the habitual parts of your day and pick one to change.
Get up earlier to get some downtime before the day starts
Switch up one of your cups of coffee with an alternative
Take a walk every evening after dinner instead of collapsing on the couch
Switch out an evening alcoholic beverage with a mocktail
Fitness
The term ‘get comfortable being uncomfortable’ is used so frequently among athletes it has become cliche. If you follow ultra running at all, you have heard of Courtney Dauwalter and her ‘pain cave.’ This is the extreme version of pushing our bodies beyond what our brain tells us they are capable of, but there is a lesson here for everyone. Our brains will always tell us to stop before our bodies need to and pushing slightly beyond that barrier is where progress is made. Depending on your fitness level, this is a fine line and it’s always recommended that you consult with a professional before truly pushing your limits. But the following are some safe ways to begin to see what lies beyond the initial discomfort of working out.
If you are new to running, the walk/run method is ideal for building up miles and pace. So head out for an intended distance that you know you can walk. Start with 1 min of running, 2 min of walking. Do not let yourself stop running before the one minute is up.
As you build up to longer intervals of running and equal intervals of walking, there will be times where your brains says, “I can’t.” Always push slightly beyond that moment, maybe 30 seconds, maybe 15 seconds. What you will find is that the brain is reacting to discomfort and not distress.
Of course, true pain is different and learning to differentiate injury pain from discomfort can be difficult if you don’t much experience. When pain enters, continue for a few moments taking note of what the pain feels like and if it’s getting better, getting worse or staying the same. As I age, I often have something flare up during a run, but I’ve been surprised by how often it will dissipate just as fast as it arrived if I continue.
When doing yoga or pilates or any class and you brain starts to tell you, “I can’t hold this pose any longer,” change your focus away from the muscle that’s demanding relief. The position of your foot or hand, your breath, the knot in the wood floor, can all distract you, proving that the brain was demanding rest prematurely.
Nutrition
When working with parents of ‘picky eaters,’ I often tell them to just continuously place the uncomfortable food on their children’s plates without making a big deal about it, even if they never touch it. Over time, curiosity may just overcome the discomfort of eating something they don’t think they like.
There really is no difference between training a toddler to eat a food they have determined they despise and changing the nutritional habits of an adult.
Begin by actually looking at foods in the grocery store you might want to gloss over or reading the menu items that you would usually just skip because it includes a healthy food you don’t enjoy.
If you know you should be eating more dark, leafy greens, pick up every cookbook you come across and study the dishes that include them to see what might peak your interest rather than make you turn the page.
Many people have decided they don’t like certain foods or types of dietary intake because they only know it one way (greens cooked to a mush from childhood…), but whole foods are loaded with flavor when simply prepared and there is an entire world of recipe developers that are focusing on sharing new ways to prepare and serve whole foods. I’ve included a list of a few of these people below.
Kitchen Realities
I generally avoid home delivery pre-prepped food delivery, not because I need everything to be from scratch, but mostly because the waste involved generally makes me uncomfortable and not in a way I want to overcome. But last week, one of my neighbors couldn’t use their weekly delivery and I was more than happy to have the ‘help’ getting some homemade food on the table and getting the infusion of new ideas. There were a few pre-made salads and two chicken dishes one with greens and one with gnocci. These were incorporated into larger meals, because my family of 4 eats significantly more than 4 portions!
I’ve also had to dig deep and get cooking as my garden is putting out veggies faster than I can give them away. As I’ve stated in previous posts, summer is when I like to spend less time in the kitchen and more time outside enjoying food and family so these quick salads and stir-frys have been my go to!
Garden Updates
I almost hate to say out loud that the garden continues to plog along with little attention and few problems. I did spend a few hours weeding and trimming back tomato plants last week. I’ll pick the first peppers this week and I have lots of green tomatoes that will hopefully begin to blush in the next couple weeks! The cool weather veggies have loved the cool spring and I’ve got beet harvests like I’ve never seen before. The carrots and chard are also huge and will be part of this week’s meals.
Substack Food Writers that offer Fantastic Recipes based around Whole Foods
Betty Williams of Betty Eatz
Rebecca Blackwell of Let’s Get Lost
Leslie Bulut of A Bite of Delight
Michelle Aronson of Eat Like A Farmer
Susan Spungen of Susanality
Bek Davis of In the Kitchen with Bek Davis
This list is just small sampling of where to start in order to find great whole food recipe writers! I know I’m forgetting to include some that I love… Get exploring and get uncomfortable!
Welcome to Table Root Farm
Table Root Farm is a physical place that holds a large garden, a handful of chickens, a charming AirBnb, and a unique ability to melt away the stresses of daily life. For this reason, it’s also the virtual place that hosts my newsletter, my social media platforms, and my musings.
My name is Kalee Tilli and I’m a Holistic Nutritionist, living and learning in a North Atlanta suburb. My heart lives in the mountains of Colorado, but for now, my two teenage sons, husband and I are exploring life as southerners. I teach cooking classes focusing on local, seasonal produce, while trying to remind myself and my clients that guilt has no place at the table. There are many seasons of our lives and most will not include eating a diet of exclusively home prepared, seasonal and local foods. My newsletter aims to share a bit of whatever is on my mind, Holistic Wellness tips, Recipes, and recommendations.
I’m going to have you lecture to my children ( instead of me)
Thanks for being so brave and sharing. I hope your move goes smoothly and well.